February 14th, 2008


"I know no one likes me, why do we need a whole day to emphasize it?"

Unless you've been actively trying to block it out of your mind as I have, you know what day it is today. As such, you all know how I feel about this, so I really don't need to repeat myself. But in case you're new around here, I'll give you the gist of it. I hate it. This is a stupid holiday, not only from a single person perspective, but in general. Being a guy on this day either leaves you broken hearted or just plain broke.

So, in order to avoid getitng "played out" by saying the same thing the same way over and over each year, I decided to observe OTHER peoples feelings on this day. Other peoples journals, blogs, vlogs, and yes... even 4chan. The expereince was quite educational. As such, I was able to narrow this down to a a few posts. All of which are all over the map, on polar opposite ends of each other with varying degrees of exageration and sincerity, but generally summing up what I said earlier: "Broke or broken hearted". All these snippets of dialog have been taken without permission because that's how I roll.

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Now I was originally gonna leave it at those two. But in the end, it felt cynical and bitter. But then I saw this one last night. It really stood out among the other posts. It so accurately describes what alot people feel on this day, but without hate or bitterness as the previous post. It is sincere and says all that needs to be said more than anything I could say. It's beautiful, in a enternally sad and lonely way, but so is life.

Have some of you guys accepted that you'll never find someone, always be single, and never have sex? Or do you still trust to hope that maybe one day it'll all happen for you? There's no right answer, it just tells what kind of person you are. Personally, I can't handle hope anymore. I'm 27 and I've never so much as held hands with a girl. If it was supposed to happen for me, it would have already done so. I'm going to be alone for my entire life. It's going to be hard, there will be days when it will be almost unbearable. I will have to suffer through periods of absolute misery the likes of which no human should ever have to face. It'll be difficult but I'm strong enough to endure it. I also know that in all things there is a balance, and I do get something in return for my struggles. I get freedom, personal, emotional and financial. I am accountable to no one but myself. I get to make my own decisions without ever considering if they're acceptable to a partner. These are all good things to me. For a lot of us here today, there's never going to be that beautiful wife waiting for us when we come home. There's never going to be those passionate nights of love making, there's never going to be a dinner at a nice restaurant with a date, there's never going to be that first kiss, that first time having sex. There's never going to be any of those things for some of us. And we will be lonely, and we will be sad some days, and we will face depression and we will face terrible odds. But we will endure. We are strong enough to endure and we will find a way to wake up every morning and do what has to be done. I know this hits home for a lot of you, but there's probably some here that aren't like the people I've described. To you I extend a hand and say good luck. I respect your life choice, and your strength of a different kind. I respect your decisions, as I expect you to respect mine. So as you share this Valentine's day with your wife, your girlfriend, your date, please take a moment, just a passing second, to think about all the people who'll never get to do all the things you're taking for granted. Think about how lucky you are that you don't have to face the hardships that we face. We're the guy behind you in line at the bank, the cashier, the guy that painted your house, the man who did your taxes. Think about those people, and ask yourself: “Am I really so different from them?”

Happy Valentine's Day.

That's really all that needs to be said. Everyone who can, enjoy your day but don't buy into the hype or commercialism. For everyone who can't, hang in there. Either way, we'll all be stronger people tomorrow.